Joshua Harris’ Ex-Wife Releasing Memoir About Leaving the ‘Evangelical Cult’
Shannon Harris, the ex-wife of famed apostate Joshua Harris, has written a memoir about her time as a Christian wife, delving into her deconstruction and how she rescued herself from the cult of evangelicalism.
In 1997, at 21, Joshua Harris published his first book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” The book became a bestseller and resonated with many young Christians who sought guidance in their romantic relationships. Harris advocated for a more intentional and biblical approach to dating, promoting the idea of courtship and abstinence before marriage.
The success of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” propelled Harris into the national spotlight, and he became a sought-after speaker at conferences and events. He went on to publish several other books, including “Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship” and “Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust.” His writings emphasized the importance of sexual purity, emotional purity, and surrendering one’s desires to God’s will.
Harris would eventually take over the pastorate of Covenant Life Church from C.J. Mahaney but step down in 2015 to do a little deconstructing. By 2019 he had renounced his faith, divorced his wife, and became a pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ atheist.
Shannon’s book, The Woman They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife, is about that journey by his side and her own deconstruction into a pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ atheist. According to her website:
The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon’s remarkable experience inside Big Church–where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades–and her subsequent journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself.
Entering conservative American Christianity was like being drawn out to sea, she writes, inexorable and all consuming. Slowly, her worldview was narrowed, her motivations questioned, her behavior examined, until she had been whittled down to an idealized version of femininity envisioned as an extension of her husband and the church. This decidedly patriarchal world, perpetuated even by the other women, began to feel like a slow death.
However, when Sovereign Grace Ministries fell apart due to leadership conflicts and Shannon found herself outside church circles for the first time in years, she heard her intuition calling to her again. As she began to shake off the fog of depression and confusion, that voice grew louder. In honoring it, she awakened to the realities in which she had been trapped and found her truest self.